Disjointed Thoughts

One.


I have so many things that I need to do today that I don’t want to do. The contract template, the review of the contract templates, the review of the new law, the presentation on the new law. But I seriously don’t want to touch any of them now. So I’m blogging.

Two.

I want us to buy our own house. I’m tired of renting. And it’s not even because of the fact that no matter how long we pay the rent, the house will never become ours (which is what I constantly hear from the grown-ups in our lives). I want a house because I want to decorate. I want to be able to design Mito’s room with stuff he likes. I want to be able to paint a portion of the wall red so the pictures I frame and hang will really stand out. I want to be able to set aside an area for just Moks and me, where we can retreat at the end of a tiring day once Mito’s asleep to just relax with each other.

I am trying to see if we can afford to buy now. We have no debt, we earn well. What’s bad is, the extra money we make we are not able to religiously save. We can be quite lavish on our entertainment expenses. Almost every month I get a credit card bill and I get surprised at how much we’ve spent on “nothings”. So I think it would be better if we spend our money on something concrete that will definitely benefit our family.

I’m looking at the developments in the Sta. Rosa area. I think they are all promising, and I would really love to buy before the prices skyrocket once all the planned developments come in.

But of course it’s scary as well. A 15-20-year financial commitment is no joke. We have to be sure we’re okay to live in the south. What if Mito’s accepted to study at UPIS – I would not want to subject him to the crazy commute from Sta. Rosa to Diliman! And does this mean I don’t get to resign anymore? Finally, can we have another baby as well?

Three.

I want another baby. The sane, thinking part of me says not yet, Mito’s too young, you need to space them properly, etc. etc. But the mother in me just loves its role so much that it can’t wait to hold another little wee-one soon.

Seriously, I don’t know if I’m just weird, but the mothering experience I had with Mito made me a forever fan of that first year of a baby’s life. Breastfeeding – awesome! Late nights – sure! Poop and spit-up and pee and vomit – any day! Because it all means experiencing what unconditional love is, having first-hand knowledge of absolute devotion, and learning how it is to be fully reliant on God.